Bespoke Lives

Define success on your own terms, achieve it by your own rules, and build a life you’re proud to live.

Anne Sweeney

I’ve added another word to the figurative hopper I keep for words that intrigue me. My rather eclectic collection began in a teacher’s lounge following delivery of a folder to a British visitor whose desk, no more than a table, had been temporarily set up in there. I had been made hall monitor for the day and got to wear the coveted arm band that set me apart from others wandering through the building. It was a hard won responsibility and I was quite proud of myself and the speed with which I did my job. I was also thrilled to be the one who got to make this particular delivery. I had never been in Continue reading “Bespoke Lives”

O Holy Night

Each time I passed one of the Gallo Christmas trees I had to smile. I remember a time when the world and I were very very young and Stan Freberg’s, “Green Christmas,” was included in the holiday programming of The Midnight Special, a weekly radio broadcast from the University of Chicago. Freberg was known for his topical satire and “Green Christmas” had one chorus that remains a mind-sticker half a century after it was written.

We wish you a merry Christmas,
We wish you a merry Christmas,
We wish you a merry Christmas,
And please buy our beer!

As it happens, Gallo is a beer that is widely sold in Guatemala and the company donates decorated trees to communities throughout the country. What makes them unusual is they are all topped with a rooster, the corporate logo, rather than an angel or star. Freberg, obviously, was a visionary satirist.

Today is Christmas Eve and we are heading to the Mayan village of Continue reading “O Holy Night”

Thanksgivings

Gratitude is what you feel. Thanksgiving is what you do.
― Tim Keller

I hope your Thanksgiving will be spent with family and friends creating memories that one day will be shared at tables in places that can’t even be imagined now. I also hope that in the course of that busy day, you’ll have momentary thoughts of absent friends who once occupied places at your table and in your heart. Memory is a strange master and we tend to magnify its weight as we get older. I’m of an age where remembrance glows with the brightness of a nova and I’ve learned to surrender to its light. I view memory as a scrapbook whose pages turn when fleeting thoughts trigger reflections of times and places that I’ve known. This year that scrapbook has taken me back to a celebration held in a basement when I was four years old.

My early years were spent in a planned community of townhouses
that were built around  central courtyards. Continue reading “Thanksgivings”

Heroes

“Every society needs heroes. And every society has them. The reason we don’t often see them is because we don’t bother to look.

There are two kinds of heroes. Heroes who shine in the face of great adversity, who perform an amazing feat in a difficult situation. And heroes who live among us, who do their work unceremoniously, unnoticed by many of us, but who make a difference in the lives of others.

Heroes are selfless people who perform extraordinary acts. The mark of heroes is not necessarily the result of their action, but what they are willing to do for others and for their chosen cause. Even if they fail, their determination lives on for others to follow. The glory lies not in the achievement, but in the sacrifice.”

― Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono Continue reading “Heroes”

Scarlet Robes and Sandra’s Crayons

Too many people spend money they haven’t earned to buy things they don’t want to impress people they don’t like.

Will Rogers

Have you ever heard of The Diderot Effect? The principle is named after the French philosopher, Denis Diderot, who, until 1765, lived his life in poverty. In order to provide a dowry for his daughter Diderot sold his library for a significant sum to Catherine the Great of Russia. He used a small portion of
Continue reading “Scarlet Robes and Sandra’s Crayons”

Days of Our Lives

Our lives are but specks of dust falling through the fingers of time. Like sands of the hourglass, so are the days of our lives. — Socrates

While some may not realize it, the words of Socrates have, for the last half century century, been used as the introduction to a daytime soap opera. No disrespect intended, but the poor man must be rolling in his grave.  He’s been credited with articulating the fundamentals of Continue reading “Days of Our Lives”

Slack Tide

There’s a moment sailors call slack tide. When the tide is neither coming in nor going out, and the water is perfectly still. It’s a moment frozen in time, when all is calm and peaceful. The only downside to it is that it passes so quickly. As much as we might like things to be suspended in time, they never are.

Mariners and fishermen have more detailed and scientific explanations of slack tides, but the version I learned as child is the one I’ve internalized and refuse to release. I must admit the south side of Chicago and spring smelt runs are unlikely places to learn about tides and slack water, but that’s where I first heard of them. I thought of slack tides today while walking through Old Town, Florence. Like many others, I’m pulled like iron to a magnet by the strength and serenity of water and Continue reading “Slack Tide”

What If the Sky Was Falling?

Remember Chicken Little? “Help! Help! The sky is falling! We’re running for our lives!” While the sky isn’t falling, at least not yet, it’s been a banner year for natural disasters and the recent 7.1 earthquake in California was a reminder of the need for disaster readiness. Most of us pay credence to the need for a day after or day of plan, but, for whatever reason, not everyone has that plan in place. So, what exactly should we do in an emergency?

First things first. In any emergency, take a deep breath, calm yourself as best you can, then check for danger and assess the damage before moving on. If you’re the only one affected call 911, but if there appears to be widespread damage, it’s time to fall back on your emergency plans and the services that are available in your area. Your plan Continue reading “What If the Sky Was Falling?”

The Night the Sky Rained Stars

She was  four years old with  gravel  pocked knees  and stubbed toes that peeked out from treasured, but already scuffed, sandals. Those sandals were an ideal braking mechanism  for her wagon and tricycle and those  knees usually bore  band aids that were as  proudly worn as medals.   Under  normal circumstances she was a  perpetual motion machine and her excitement,  of the “is it time yet” variety,  knew no bounds.  Today was going to be difficult for those around her and a plan and “minder”  were needed to keep her at bay.  Not only was there to be a 4th of July parade, but a War Bond rally complete with a pony, carousel and ferris wheel was planned for the afternoon and early evening.  An added bonus would be fireworks to end the day with even more excitement.

Early on she let it be known that she was going to be in the parade rather than watch it.  The big question was what her role in the parade should be. It was a multiple choice question.  Should she  carry a flag and march, decorate and pull her wagon or ride her crepe festooned tricycle with the bigger kids?  Her mother thought marching was a great idea but Little Miss thought she should ride her trike and have it pull her wagon. Given the distance to be covered, it was decided that she’d pull her wagon, but she’d have a spotter who could take over if she became too tired to march.

If seen today, the parade would be a disappointment. Gas rationing kept vehicles, including those belonging to the police and fire department from participating. Fortunately, Mr Mele was around to lead  the parade with his horse and wagon.  He rode through the neighborhood each week and was easily identified by  the children who called him the “rag man.” He rode through the streets calling, “Old clothes ma-an,” taking  whatever disposables folks wanted to get rid of.  He was joined most weeks by Tony, the organ grinder,  who made his living sharpening knives while his monkey entertained the children.  And on this 4th of July,  Tony led the pet contingent of the parade wearing his top hat and flag banner but his street organ still played “O Solo Mio.” The kids in high school band provided musical interludes of “You’re A Grand Old Flag” and “God Bless America”  as they marched and they would start the evening fireworks with their rendition of  “The Star Spangled Banner.” The older members of Veteran’s of Foreign Wars  marched with flags and as they passed bystanders would place their hands over their hearts.  They were followed by the bicycle and wagon brigade and the girl and boy scouts brought up the rear. Little Miss finished the route without the help of her minder and waved at all, much like the queen or Miss America, and she would later unrelentingly check to see who had seen her in the parade.

The afternoon was one of wonder. She rode a pony for the first time and they had trouble getting her off the carousel. There was no cotton candy – sugar was rationed – but she had her first hot dog and because it was a special day she had both popcorn and a Dixie cup.  And while she would later insist she had won a Kewpie doll, it was actually given to her by a neighbor who didn’t like the wing like projections on its back.

An early dinner was a potluck affair. Macaroni salad and fried chicken were served with ice-less lemonade and iced tea that further had warmed while sitting in the afternoon sun. There was also an insistence that naps be taken if fireworks were to be seen once it was dark. Now napping was not an easy thing.  The summer heat and humidity in Chicago rivaled that of a steam bath and there was no air conditioning in homes at that time. The duplex in which Little Miss lived had a flat roof and the heat in the upstairs bedrooms was like that from a blast furnace.  While she insisted she couldn’t sleep because ants were crawling all over her, she eventually dozed off and assured her place at the evening’s fireworks.

And of all the things she would remember about that 4th of July, the  fireworks were the most memorable. Because of the War Bond rally the fireworks were professionally done and the final volley was a series of sky rockets that burst overhead and sprinkled stars that fell like rain on the crowd below.  Little Miss already loved Christmas and Halloween, but from that night forward Independence Day became her third favorite holiday. That, after all, was the day she learned you can’t catch a falling star.
 

 

 

 

 

A Few (More) Good Men

The leaders who work most effectively, it seems to me, never say “I.” And that’s not because they have trained themselves not to say “I.” They don’t think “I.” They think “we”; they think “team.” They understand their job to be to make the team function. They accept responsibility and don’t sidestep it, but “we” gets the credit…. This is what creates trust, what enables you to get the task done.

– Peter Drucker

I’m not a hostage but these days I feel like one. My hands feel tied, bound by the twin leeches of belief and expectation. There was a time when the institutions created to serve us  actually did just that and the men who administered them were  admired. There was also a time, I’ll admit to being very young, when I thought lawyers were more Continue reading “A Few (More) Good Men”

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